"God's Creatures" by Eugene de Blaas
discernment :: perception in the absence of judgement with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding.
Every year I choose a word for myself, to be my guide. Sometimes it is hard to settle on just one word. Sometimes the words seems just out of reach. But this year, the word came easily to me.
The word actually came to me in my study of nuns. I love nuns. I don't keep that a secret. Most people though don't take me seriously. I often say I wish to be a nun and people chuckle. My sister though gives me nun references all the time. She said she was recently next to one at the craft store but it was crowded and she couldn't get a photo. Given my current circumstances it is not likely I will become a Sister, but I've decided that I won't let that stand in my way of living a Sisterly life. I'll probably write about that more later (I have a year of discernment ahead of me as I say).
Since I came to this decision late last year, there has been such a feeling of peace. A certain restlessness has calmed. I no longer fret over not having found a companion in life. I have found that being a force of love in the lives of many people can sometimes be comparable if not better than being with a single person. I truthfully feel I am on a journey right now and my way is being lit by truth. I think this space, This Quiet House, is a part of that.
The best part of discerning is that decisions don't happen overnight and are not supposed to happen overnight. It takes years to discern what we are truly meant to do and many times we stumble and take wrong turns along the way. When you choose to become a Sister, you go through years of prayer, service and contemplation. For me I think the same is true. I am studying with the Sisters, through their blogs, podcasts and Facebook pages. And while my decision at the end of this year will not find me in taking vows, I hope that it will find me in a place of peace.
What am I discerning? What am I looking for?
My calling in life. It is time for a new vocation. I have just fallen into jobs along the way out of necessity. I never felt called to be a credit card manager, a human resource recruiter or a credit union teller. Actually, given my view on money, I am surprised I even fell into this field, but it paid the bills when my husband was out of work and over these years as a single mother.
A simpler home life. This year I hope to find a more organized and gentle home. It's time to finally determine what is necessary and what is just "stuff". The stuff part seems more geared to my daughters as I don't have a wealth of material possessions. But, I want to learn to make my meals, my wardrobe, my schedule as simple as possible.
Spiritual growth. I've studied just about every religion, including not having religion. But it's not a "religion" I am after. What I want to do is listen more to the quiet space inside myself where God resides and let it lead the way. I will continue to follow the Sisters and want to make one, if not two possible, retreats for myself to really listen and study. I want to read about the lives of the saints, the spiritual mystics and those who have devoted themselves to a calling.
So that is my word this year. In past years I have chosen, simplicity, acceptance and kindness as my guiding words. Do you have one? Have you ever chosen one? If you have, please share what your word is and what it means to you. If you haven't, why don't you give it a try.
2 comments:
I don't have a word but I do have intentions. The theme is "more" more knitting (really!) more reading and more writing. I want to have a purposeful day, one I can look at and say, yes, I did do those things. I don't like wasting time and I tend to do that.
I grew up with nuns :) There are nice ones in my memories and then the not so nice ones. However, I love to reflect on their simple ways in a convent.
I've chosen words in previous years, but I'm not very consistent at remembering to keep them in mind! One year I chose 'simplify', another 'clear', and any others I have had have faded into obscurity. I started trying to choose one this year, but didn't get further than a list of possibilities.
I think I understand your fascination with nuns and their way of life. I'm fascinated by Buddhists, Quakers and the Amish whilst having no personal religious beliefs at all, which I always think is probably strange!
Post a Comment